So. I went to see my eye doctor last week. I
had got to do all of the visual field tests twice, and then get my eyes dilated (yay) so I could have a glaring white light refracted through a small piece of glass into, and possibly through, both my eyeballs.
I was then advised that I have a “sketchy” optic nerve that I should get checked out and some weird “eye-scarring” that’s unusual. Oh, and I need to “upgrade” to bifocals because my peripheral vis..blahblahblahblah. And also, have I read any Patrick Rothfuss? and the Technician up front will bill my insurance and process my co-pay. I stared at him and said I was going to need some kind of positive news before I’d have the heart to follow-through with payment. He just smiled at me and said, “Well, you do get to wear these for the next 2 hours!”, and proceeded to hand me those shades that resemble a roll of film that you put behind your glasses to protect dilated eyes. They looked something like this:
So I got a referral to an eye specialist to make sure things aren’t detaching, degenerating, or otherwise defying my instructions to just BEHAVE. And then I went out to pick out new glasses, with my eyes fully dilated. Now, most of you who know me also know I’m blind as a bat without my glasses on. So in situations when I don’t have them on (think middle of the night potty-runs, or putting on makeup), I can just use a mirror or get my face really close to anything I need to read or examine. But – turns out when your eyes are dilated, it’s actually impossible to see things up close.
I should have thought of this in advance, but alas, I was forced to be creative. So I began the painful process of trying on frames, taking a selfie, putting my regular glasses back on, holding my phone at a distance so I can see the picture I just took, assess whether the frames are viable, and then text the picture to hubby for his opinion. I think the poor Optical Tech who was helping me wanted to bang his head against the wall. Repeatedly.
Here’s a fun peek at one of my selfies. These aren’t the frames I picked, but I love the totally stoned look in my eyes..
Anyways, the new spectacles should be arriving sometime this week, so I’ll try to have a new pic for you at some point. Tomorrow I have a trip to the dentist, the day after that, my shrink, and sometime in the next couple of weeks, my gynecologist.
I tend to be an open book and blog about whatever is happening in my life, so be afraid… be vewy vewy afwaid…