Confession: I stole a tube of liquid bubble gum when I was 6.
Remember those? Toothpaste sized containers of sticky, pink bubble gum…
Be still my pre-adolescent heart!!
I don’t remember the specifics, other than I saw it, I wanted it, I took it. There’s probably a way cooler Latin translation.
Wait a second.
Gawd, I love the internet.
How about this:
EGO saw, EGO volo, Cep (Not as impressive as I’d hoped. Bummer)
If I remember right, it was at the Ace Hardware store in Caldwell that I skipped my first rock ‘cross the rippling pool of larceny. It was heady. It was life-changing. It was BUBBLELICIOUS.
Umm, until I got caught.
I vaguely recall being marched (drug by one arm) back into the store by my mother and forced to return the stolen gum and apologize. (Mortification Abounded)
The good news though, is that it seemed to work. My criminal career was quite short-lived, and I’ve gone on to lead a productive, tax-paying life. Well, except for that experimental period during high school when I tried to smoke pot. I say tried because I was truly terrible at it. Couldn’t figure out how to inhale. Never got high. It’s a shame really, because now I’m too grown-up and responsible to risk my livelihood over a joint, but I‘m really curious what being high is like!
Which leads to my backup plan, which could also be construed as a confession of sorts: I’m going to be a pot-head when I’m an old lady. Well, maybe not a total pot-head, but I have this vision of getting together with my grey-haired girlfriends and passing a joint around the circle.
Why not?! It’s said to have medicinal properties and by then I’ll probably have all sorts of joint, back, and bowel issues that could use some assistance.
Sorry I used the word bowel. I truly had no intention of going down that path.
Okay, wrapping it up now.