This afternoon I had one of those moments where I actually had a decent response, on the spot, for a complete douche canoe of a comment…
Let me set the scene:
- I was walking into Wal-Mart to do some grocery shopping
- I was also chatting with my mother on my cell phone
- A mini-van was getting ready to back out of it’s parking spot
- A big, black, SUV was waiting to claim the mini-van’s spot
Ok, so I walk past the mini-van and give the driver a friendly wave to thank her for not running me over and am simultaneously hanging up the phone. The SUV creeps forward and I notice the window is down, which I think is odd, and then I hear the driver say, “Think you could hang up the damn phone and walk a little faster?”
And I didn’t even hesitate.
I turned to him and spouted, “Look, my giant head means I’ve evolved to the point that I can walk and talk at the same time, so back off buddy!”
In hindsight it did come at the price of insulting the size of my head and crediting evolution with my ambulatory skills. And it didn’t really address the main thrust of his complaint, being my walking speed.
BUT STILL.. it felt great to have a comeback in the moment.
Life’s about tradeoff’s, right?