This morning I visited the espresso bar at work and ordered my usual 12 oz. vanilla/caramel latte with an extra 1/2 shot (wait, I just realized that we abbreviate “ounce” to “oz.”, yet there is no “z” in the original word. Why does the English language torment us so!!) It was a pretty busy at the time, so I had the opportunity to stand around for a bit while waiting for my perfect, perfect drink. (Seriously, the extra 1/2 shot just makes it)
Anywhoodle, while waiting, Dave (a co-worker) came up and helped himself to a big ‘ol cup of drip coffee, which is self-serve. Observing the line of folks waiting to order at the register, he handed me the $1.10 for his purchase and asked if I would pay on his behalf. Being the kind, considerate person that I am, I readily agreed.
The opportunity presented itself sooner than we anticipated so Dave was still around to hear me put not just my foot, but quite possibly my entire leg into my mouth.
As I handed the money to Quinn (the barista and quite possibly one of the best people on the planet) I said jokingly, “Here, this is for David’s big ass cup of coffee!”
I immediately realized that I had said “ass” out loud at work and thought that might not have been the most appropriate thing, yanno? So I tried to recant it by saying, “Wait – scratch the ass!”
And then I realized just how that sounded. And immediately started backpedaling.
“Umm, wait, I didn’t mean it like that. Don’t scratch that. Never scratch that. Just… you know… ignore me please!!”
Thankfully Quinn just shook her head and laughed at me, along with those individuals who overheard me. ‘Cuz you know I didn’t say it quietly or anything. That would be entirely out of character for me.