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Stripes: A Requiem

I recently bought a shirt.

I have no idea why it appeals to me so much, but it does.  It’s all blue and white horizontal stripes w/short sleeves, buttons at the top and has a hoodie.  It’s very sailor-esque.

(It sorta looks like this…except there’s 3 little buttons on the top…and the sleeves are longer… and most importantly, it doesn’t look like this on me…)

 I told my friend, who was shopping with me at the time, that it was for my mom.  She likes these kinds of things, I said.  What I didn’t say was that I secretly hoped I could keep it for myself.  Because you see… God help me… I love horizontal stripes.

I love them on walls: (this is seriously gorgeous)

On socks:

On farms:

But most especially on clothing:

And babies can always pull off this look:


There’s just one problem.

Stipes don’t love me back.
(No Photo Necessary…Trust Me)

Now, normally I don’t mind defying current fashion trends and just wearing whatever the hell I want to.  (Ask my hubby about my wide-legged pants)  I think I turn myself out fairly well, at least in public, considering my…sizeframerubenesque nature…well you get the picture.

But try as I have to find a top in horizontal stripes that is figure flattering, I have failed miserably.  Upon returning home with the sailor-top and trying it on for hubby, his expression pretty much told me everything I needed to know.


So I’m here today to say goodbye.

Goodbye to stripes.

Unless they are in accessories.  In which case I reserve all purchasing rights.


2 thoughts on “Stripes: A Requiem

  1. I thought you bouGht the shirt for ME!!! Save it for me will you! I love stripes! I guess you are JUST

    LIKE ME!!!

    HA!! HA!! HA!!

  2. Pingback: Quickly Stripe Shirts for a Slimmer Look

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