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Avon Oy Veh

So I got the new Avon catalogue today at work. And lest you worry that perhaps my ovaries have shriveled prematurely, thereby launching me into menopause and before you know it I’ll be wearing stretch poly-blend pantsuits with kittens and butterflies on them.. let me reassure you that Avon is not just for little old ladies anymore.  Well…mostly not.

Kitty Shirt

I actually really like Avon’s cosmetics.  They make a cream to powder eyeshadow that is the only eyeshadow I think I’ll ever use because it blends so easily and doesn’t pull the bait-n-switch that powder eyeshadow can.  You know, where you look in the mirror at home and think you look respectable, but when you visit the ladies room at work mid-morning, you realize you have total hooker makeup going on and all of a sudden the extra attention you’ve been paid that day is completely suspect.  Of course, maybe this just means I need better lighting at home, but I digress.

Selling Avon

At any rate, I was flipping thru the pages and admiring a few items here and there, and I got to the “fashion” section, where they pair shirts, shoes, jewelry and sometimes handbags into little ensembles for the shopper.  Which is a typical marketing ploy – “Ooh, if you buy the jade knit top, you simply must have the matching flip flops & handbag to make your life complete!” – which I have been known to accept as fact from time to time.

In this spread, they added little blurbs describing what you could potentially be doing while decked out in their perfectly matching get-up, such as: a walk in the park, uptown window shopping, downtown boutique shopping, a drive in the country, a day in the city, catching a film at the cinema, meeting friends at the café, morning errand running…and my favorite…afternoon apple picking.

After scratching my head for a bit, I came to the startling conclusion that not only is my wardrobe completely insufficient to support all these exciting scenarios, it’s also severely lacking in rhinestones & jewel-studded-ness.   

 Bling Ring

 AND, I really need to work on developing a psuedo pouty/angry look because apparently that’s what sexy looks like. Duh, silly me.  This whole time I just figured that as long as my girl parts were covered and everything was clean, I was in good shape!  Tsk, tsk, tsk.  I stand corrected.

Pouty

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One thought on “Avon Oy Veh

  1. OH MY GOSH! How could you not know that you simply CAN NOT wear the same thing Uptown window shopping as you would Downtown Boutique shopping…

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