It’s sad to think that Christmas vacation was just a couple months ago and I’m already plotting my next get-away. Work has been so intensely busy and stressful lately that I find myself morphing into a snippy, cranky person. (What do you mean, what’s different?)
Truthfully, I completely recognize that as a major character flaw for me. When I’m under stress, or tired, or hungry, or under-caffeinated (or coming off the sugar) I can be a very not-nice person. Unfortunately, it’s the ones near and dear to me who tend to bear the brunt of it. What I’d really like to do is pick up my office phone the next time it rings and yell, “WHAT DO YOU PEOPLE WANT FROM ME!” Thankfully, I value my job enough to practice a bit of self-control in that arena.
For you non-Catholics that may not have noticed (i.e. most of my readers) tis the season of Lent. Which means fish on Fridays, attending Mass more regularly and of course, the requisite “giving-up” of something. In reality, the time of Lent is intended to be a season of spiritual renewal where we set aside, or “give-up” things that can distract us from spiritual growth, and also devote more time to charitable works and in prayer. I decided that (for the safety of both myself and those around me) instead of giving chocolate or caffeine or sugar altogether, I would give up having a bad attitude and being cranky and try to practice patience and understanding. Naturally, I’ve fallen flat on my face on those points already.
Of course, anytime we humans determine we are going to try and accomplish something, the universe immediately seems to plot against us. In the past I would have said it’s an attack from Satan, but now I wonder if God doesn’t have a hand in it as well. After all, the best and only way to learn patience is to be tested, right? So tomorrow morning I will go back into work and try to answer my phone with sincere kindness. And I’ll try not to think “idiot” when I hear the same question for the 10th time. And if you see me faltering, please point it out gently. After all, I’ll never learn if I don’t know when I’m messing up. Besides, I should probably get used to eating humble pie…