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Evil Lotion

You know that random bottle of lotion that’s been sitting on the desk/nightstand/bathroom counter for the last several months? 

The pump top one, with the little bit of dried up lotion gunk blocking part of the spout? 

The dried-up gunk that you fail to notice before pumping it in an offhand manner? 

The one that then sends a stream of lotion arcing across the desk/nightstand/bathroom counter and manages to hit both you, the floor and the wall in one fell swoop?

What?!  You mean you actually wipe the gunk off before using that particular bottle of lotion?  Well… How very clever of you.  Excuse me while I get a papertowel.

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