An accurate reflection of my current mood

The following exhibit is an example of how I survive long, yawn inducing afternoons at work:

Chocolate Chip Cookies from the cafeteria at work
(better than you might think)

My newest source of caffeine.
(This is a judgement free zone people, so take your anti-sugar, anti-caffeine, anti-anything-good attitude and shove it up y-
Whoa, wait – maybe I’ve had too much caffeine? I’m seem to be exhibiting increased levels of agression)

Perhaps I should have gone the Prozac and 2-martini-lunch route.

Nah, then I would’ve ended up like this fellow:

Although I’m told my regular laughter can be unsettling, even before the alcohol!!

Courtesy of the Secretary of the Department of Transportation’s blog (who knew!?):

December 22, 2009

FAA Administrator Babbitt clears Santa for annual mission

I am pleased to report that, just moments ago, FAA chief Randy Babbitt cleared Santa Claus for his traditional round-the-world holiday mission.

Said Babbitt: "Santa and his crew have always shown extraordinary professionalism, I’m certain they’ll pull off this year’s flight without a hitch."

The public is invited to follow Santa’s progress on Christmas Eve at www.noradsanta.org via NORAD’s famous SantaCams.

During the North Pole International Airport (NPIA) 90-minute check flight, Santa demonstrated precision execution of the pinpoint rooftop landing and takeoff maneuvers his extensive delivery manifest and single-night constraint require.

Babbitt also pronounced the sleigh’s onboard equipment to be in tip-top operating condition, including the following systems:

• Deicing
• Reindeer propulsion
• Navigation
• Grinch/Heat-Miser avoidance system

Critically, Babbitt also verified Santa’s crew manifest to ensure enough elves would be available to relieve Santa for proper pilot rest periods.

New this year, Santa and the North Pole elves have instituted several energy-saving measures.

Santa’s wondrous sense of orientation will be supplemented by Next Generation Air Transportation System (NextGen) technology to make this year’s trip more fuel-efficient.

And Rudolph’s bright red nose and other onboard sleigh lighting systems have been converted to energy-saving LEDs.

Thank you, Randy, for attending to this critical responsibility.

And thank you, Santa, for your faithful service (please check that list twice; I’ve been pretty nice this year)!

Here’s wishing you all a very Merry Christmas & a Happy New Year!!!

Does anyone else find commercials for jewelry stores completely irritating, manipulative and over-the-top schmaltzy?  I’ve been bombarded both on t.v. and radio lately with ads designed to convince a person (mostly the man of the household) that Christmas just isn’t Christmas (and an engagement just isn’t an engagement) without diamonds under the tree/on your finger.  The phrases ”Diamonds are forever” and “A kiss begins with K” and “He went to Jareds!?! ” are just about enough to cause spontaneous vomit on my part. (Sorry if you were eating when you read that)

Apparently my husband and I just got it all wrong when became engaged.  In fact, if we ever divorce I’m sure I can make a solid case that the core reason behind it was that he didn’t go into thousands of dollars of debt over a diamond for my engagement ring.  And women around the world (mostly the kind who appear on Bridezilla) will no doubt rise up in my defense and agree that yes, it is all his fault because everyone knows that the successful foundation for marriage is a platinum wedding band and at least 1 1/2 carats of diamonds.

What were we thinking!!!

Do you want to know the ugly truth?  (Lean in close now, I don’t want the proprietor of Lee Read Jewelers to overhear this and having a heart attack right where he stands)

I’ve had 3 “fake” engagement/wedding rings – including the one I wear today, and I love every single one of them. 

My first engagement ring was bought by my sweetie at Wal-Mart, from the costume jewelry section.  It had a heart-shaped “diamond-like” center stone with 2 other “diamond-like” stones framing it.  It probably cost less than $10.  Tim was ready to propose and didn’t want to wait.  Even more important, he knew I wouldn’t want him to wait.  He brought it with him to my place of work, got down on one knee outside my cubicle, and asked me to marry him.  I threw my paperwork up in the air and ecstatically said yes. (That’s 100% true, except for the throwing of the paperwork.)

A little less than a year later, we returned to Wal-Mart and purchased a cubic zirconia solitaire and matching gold bands.  Our wedding budget was quite modest and although both of us would have preferred something a little different, a little nicer, we found what suited our needs at the time.  I don’t think anyone at our wedding was pondering the authenticity of the stone when we exchanged vows.  (In fact, they probably spent more time pondering why the bride’s face was so flushed.  Seriously…I don’t know if it was nerves or heat, but I was purple!  Ahem..moving on…)

A few years into our marriage, money matters had improved, and I had been hearing a lot of good things about a diamond-like stone called moissanite.  Moissanite is man-made and can easily be confused with diamonds, but is a fraction of the cost.  It’s double-refractive, whereas a diamond is only single-refractive, so it actually out-ranks the big D in the sparkle department.  I had been doing a lot of “window-shopping” online and knew the look that I wanted for my “forever” ring.  Apparently hubby took notice.  He surprised me by ordering a new solitaire, set in white gold, and we later found a ”wrap” band that added two small diamonds to either side of the solitaire and completed my wedding set.  (For the record, hubby also received a couple of upgrades in wedding bands over the years.  He now has a collection to choose from)

My point is this: having to wait a few years to get the ring I always wanted hasn’t hurt our marriage one single iota.  In fact, the drama over how I (don’t) wrap up the vacuum cleaner cord, or how Tim loads the dishwasher has caused greater friction in our marriage than what kind of ring sits on my finger.  I get mad when I think about the propoganda that’s being spread – not just by jewelers, but the wedding industry at-large – purporting that a man should put down 3 months worth of wages (yup, that’s the accepted standard) on an engagement ring.  Never mind how much pressure is put forth for how much is spent on the wedding itself – that’s a whole other blog post.

And it gets worse!  The poor guy goes broke securing the ring, and somehow pays (or finances) the wedding, and then the holidays roll around and there’s commercials pushing diamond earrings, necklaces, and bracelets.  Show the one you love how much you care…by getting a second mortgage so you can shower her with diamonds! 

Now please, don’t get me wrong – I’m a big fan of the sparkly stuff.  I’m a girly-girl at heart and I LOVE it when my sweetie buys me jewelry.  And I don’t care if people finance a ring or other jewelry if they know they have the means to pay it off in a timely manner AND it doesn’t involve the sale of their firstborn.  I just don’t want my man, (or anyone else’s man for that matter), to feel obligated or manipulated into purchasing something simply because it’s what popular culture dictates.  Puh-leaze… popular culture has been responsible for some of the lamest, most ridiculous trends around, including reality tv shows, cell phones for 5 year olds and the Snuggie.  (Ok, I’m joking about the Snuggie…it’s actually kinda comfy. Don’t ask me how I know this.) 

My point is that when it comes to expressing your love and affection for someone, it’s better to leave popular culture out of it.  Spending extravagantly on gifts for the one you love isn’t going to strengthen your relationship or make a difference twenty years from now.  (Especially if you’re still paying them off!)  It’s the schmaltziest saying around and I can’t believe I’m going to endorse it, but it really is “the thought that counts”.

The End.

Rant Over.

Good Night.

Word of advice to you job seekers out there:

Never include the phrase “anal-retentive” anywhere on your resume. Find a phrase that appropriately expresses your precise and tidy nature without referencing your ass.

Happy Job Hunting!

Very sad that it’s come to this…

We had an “occurrence” at work yesterday.  Something so unbelievable random and disgusting that I can’t believe I didn’t post about it  I’m going to post about it!

Seems a co-worker of mine had pulled up next to the building & was getting ready to exit her car when she observed a gentleman man walking ahead of where she was parked suddenly stop, drop his drawers, squat, and do his “bidness” right there on the sidewalk.

Oh.  Yes.  He.  Did.

And even scarier?  There were other people about who didn’t even notice!  Some were on their cell phones & apparently others were just chatting with whoever they were walking with and somehow missed the person publicly defecating on the sidewalk.  How do you not see something like this?!?!

My poor co-worker’s lunch was ruined (can you imagine!!!), and just when she thought she was going to have to walk past him on her way into the building, the offending party pulled up his pants and calmly walked on. 

Calmly.

LIKE. NOTHING. EVER. HAPPENED.

There are not enough words for how very, very wrong this is. 
I think I’m scarred for life and I didn’t even see it.

I just had to walk past the <shudder> wet spot later in the day.  After someone from the maintenance crew cleaned it up, thankfully.  Poor guy went from trouble shooting a complex mechanical issue to public-poo-clean-up in a matter of 5 minutes.  Not a highlight of his day, I’ll bet.

Boggles the mind, does it not?  I’ve heard about things like this happening, but I always assumed they occured in the seedy parts of town, under bridges, or in the middle of the woods while camping.  Not in downtown Boise, practically outside my window!

So this is how I ushered in December.  Contemplating which virtual stranger walking in front of me might suddenly cop a squat and take the sidewalk to a new level of un-sanitary.

Merry Christmas ya’ll!! (from Mr. Hanky…the Christmas poo)

I’ve never been overly impressed with the concept of the “family bed” or “co-sleeping”, a practice where parents share their bed with their infants & young children. 

However, tonight it occurs to me that that’s essentially what happens in our home:

Picture this guy

and add this girl

Throw in one of these

and one of these

PLUS this guy…

And don’t forget me!

I’m thinkin you could interpret the end result as a “family bed”.  The problem is that this is not the result of a deliberate choice on our part.  Oh no, no, no Fluffy!  Our animals have simply decided that our bed is the cushiest spot in the house and clearly they deserve to spend their nap time in such luxurious comfort

Of course!

I don’t mind too much though.  As someone who is always cold, it’s quite nice to have  furry body to snuggle with from time to time.  As long as they don’t get between me and hubby, it’s all good. 

I just stumbled on a television show on the Travel Channel called “Meet the Natives” and I cannot recommend it highly enough.  It chronicles the journey of 5 men from a tribe in a remote Pacific Island called Tanna, as they journey to the US and visit Montana, New York City & later in the season Illinois, California & Washington D.C.

During their visit to a cattle farm in Montana, they are amazed by the vast open spaces and the size of the herds and machinery used to cultivate crops.  Coming from a community with no electricity and little exposure to the outside world, it is fascinating & enlightening to see our various cultural practices through their eyes.  Toward the end of their visit, their Cheif remarks, ”People here have everything, but it’s a tragedy to have so many cattle, machines, and fat wallets – only to die like everyone else”.  How true is that?

I’m currently watching the episode where they travel to New York City and visit the Metropolitan Museum of Art, experience the subway for the first time, see the site where the World Trade Center used to be and visit Wall Street. They are rightfully puzzled at how much material wealth many people have and yet how little that wealth is shared. Upon observing a homeless man, one native man remarks, “I can see that there are many builldlings in New York City, so how is it that people sleep on the streets?  That man is an old man and it is clear that nobody loves him.. In our culture we do not use money but no one is homeless or hungry”.

It is extremely thought provoking and if you have an opportunity, I urge you to check it out.  Here’s a quick “preview” video

If you are at all familiar with the original Behemian rhapsody song, and have even the tiniest sense of humor, you should enjoy the following video.  It has a slow start, but if you hold out till right before the 2 minute mark, it should pay off in a big way: