Liquid Nostalgia

Have you ever smelled something that took you straight back to your childhood?

Growing up on a farm, there are certain scents that remain indeliby etched in my sensory memory banks.

The rich smell of freshly turned earth.. 

The sometimes pungent smell of the livestock (in my case, sheep)

But I think my all-time favorite is the scent of alfalfa..

No, not THAT Alfalfa.

This kind.  Freshly mown for hay. 

Turns out, alfalfa has a very distinctive, sweet aroma.

It also has a very distintive, sweet taste.

How do I know this?

Well… I started something new this week:

I started taking this supplement:

It’s a blend of alfalfa and wheatgrass juice, in powder form, that you add to a small amount of apple juice, and drink like jello shooters.  (Ok, so I’ve never had jello shooters, but I imagine I’d drink them much like I drink this stuff.  Quickly and with much face scrunching) And let me tell you – it tastes exactly like it smells.  Yup, I’m having HAY for breakfast these days!

Anyone who knows me well also knows that I am not one to jump on the bandwagon of vitamins and supplements and organic food.  In fact, I pretty much despise taking any kind of pill, and have turned my nose up at myriad “miracle” powders and potions over the years, promising everything from clear skin to weight loss.

However.  This was offered up to me free of charge by a co-worker in an almost dare to see if I noticed any benefits from it.  And dadgum if I don’t.  And it’s only been 3 days.  I’ve had more energy, less heartburn, and in general have just felt better than I did a week ago.  Which is nice.  Who knows how long it will last, but I’ll be keepin ya posted. 

Perspective

This isn’t a new video, but I hadn’t seen it in awhile, and I love the message..

Hilarious..

This totally sounds like something that could have come out of my mouth in the 2nd or 3rd grade:

Courtesy of Post Secrets

Best Advice Ever. Seriously. Ever.

Stumbled across a new blog today and I freaking love it.  The Bloggess is wicked funny and guaranteed to make you laugh so hard you’ll spurt milk out your nose.  Now that being said, I will warn all my conservative friends and family members that her blog(s) do feature certain words that rhyme with “duck”, “thit”, “mouche”, and “assknoll”. (you’re trying to figure out what curse word rhymes with “mouche”, aren’t you?  I’ll give you a hint… vinegar truck, water truck, vinegar truck, water truck, vinegar truck, water truck…. _OUCHE!  Okay, it’s not really a “curse” word.. enough time spent on the obvious).  So don’t say I didn’t warn you!!!

Below is a sampling from her Advice Column:

Dear Bloggess, my loathsome sister has invited herself for Christmas lunch WITHOUT TELLING ME – only my parents (thus meaning if I don’t accept her, they won’t come), any idea how I can shoot her in the face without it distressing the rest of the family or getting blood on the walls? ~ firehose

Dear firehose – Keep in mind that Christmas is about family and generosity and that your sister is a part of your family.  Welcome her into your home with love and generously hand her a delicious plate of food.  Congratulations.  You just became the bigger person.  But make sure the plate you give her is the one you’ve been sitting on bare-assed all morning.  Also, hide all your extra chairs so she’s forced to sit on the beanbag chair, which is so low that only the top of her head pops over the top of the dinner table while you’re all eating.  Then tell her how happy you are that she could come, and not to move too much because you keep your pet snakes inside the beanbag chair so that they can hibernate through Christmas because the holidays depress them.  

Read more: http://askthebloggess.pnn.com/13150-the-front-page#ixzz0e4KpGjfQ

Public Service Announcement

Sharp, cutting objects should be avoided while experiencing spousal discord.

Hubby and I had what turned out to be a minor argument last weekend and I immediately felt the overwhelming urge to trim my bangs. 

(You can see where this is going, right?)

I tried to squelch that urge because I knew what would happen, but ultimately I was not strong enough, and sure enough, my bangs are now way too short and uneven to boot.  Apparently the gunk on the edges of the scissors was not conducive to clean, straight lines.  Who knew?

I was tempted to also trim up the sides, but a recurring vision of mullet-ville kept me from taking it that far.   The internet tells me it could have been worse.  I could have turned out like this kid:

I think my hair is going to be my downfall.  Kind of like Samson!  Except… well, my hair isn’t that long, and I don’t have super-human strength and there is no “love thang” between me and someone named Delilah.  So really, not like Samson at all.  Scratch that.  Cancel my order.  Let’s back up.

Really, the problem is that I hate paying for haircuts.  I’ve had short hair my entire life and short hair means a freaking lot of haircuts!  And it’s expensive!  So when I decided to grow my hair out, I thought that would reduce the expenditures in that area.  The only problem is that my hair doesn’t grow the normal way.  Instead of growing longer, it grows wider.  I look like Alice from the Dilbert cartoons.

Sometime in the next couple of weeks I’m going to have to suck it up and go pay for someone to fix my hair.  In the meantime, I’m goin with the side part, scrunch it all together, say a Hail Mary and call it “the curly look”.

Writer’s Block?

So I’ve drafted three different posts in the last three weeks, and have (obviously) not been able to get any of them completed.  I returned from vacation relatively refreshed and ready to tackle the new year, but instead feel like I’ve spent the last month treading water.  Fully clothed.  With nary a nose plug in sight.  And I’m getting all pruney!!!!

Ok, so the picture has nothing to do with anything, I just thought it was cute.

Moving on… I hear the best way to get past writer’s block is just to write and write and write, and not worry about the content so much.  So that’s what this post is.  My wandering brain turned loose with a pen. (Er, keyboard?)  Consider yourself warned. 

Random observation #1: 
People who play FarmVille on facebook really need to keep a better eye on their animals.  I’ve had 3 cows,  2 sheep, and a turtle turn up on my “doorstep” saying they were lost and needed a home.  Well GOOD LUCK WITH THAT.  I can barely care for the real, live animals we already have!  The last thing I need is some virtual little cow to start batting her eyelashes at me and suckering me into taking her in. 

Not. Gonna. Happen.  It’s called a corral, my facebook friends.  If you build it, they will come..and hopefully STAY!

Observation #2:
Speaking of animals, we are officially down to just two wee beasties in the Krahmer household.  One dog. One cat.  Our big, lovable Murphy has finally graduated, moved out, and gone to college.  I’ll probably only see him when he needs his rawhide laundered. 

Ok, so that’s only partially true.  He has moved out and gone on to better things, but I doubt matriculation had anything to do with it.  Hubby and I had been feeling for awhile now that our place was just too small for our big, energetic pooch.  We were hesitant at the idea of trying to find a new home for him, but it turned out that a  friend of a friend was looking for another dog to join their household.  Seems they have a dog similar to Murphy who is getting along in years and may not be around for much longer.  We took Murphy out to meet their family and see how he got along with their dogs and it was just a match made in heaven.  He now has other dogs to play with, a full 5 acres of grounds to patrol, and enough bushes and fence posts to pee on that he thinks he’s died and gone to dog heaven.  We were sad to see him go, but know it was the best choice for him.  And we arranged an open adoption, so there will be visitation rights.

Observation Random Thought #3
On the way home from work I stopped at the grocery store to pick up evaporated milk, Hot Pockets, and trash bags.  I left my list at home.  Along with my coupon book.  I spent $93 and change.  Gulp.

But the good news is that in addition to the milk, hot pockets and trash bags, we now have cotswold cheese and enough toliet paper and paper towels to last through the year. 

The End.

Christmas Vacation

As usual, my best of intentions have gone awry.  I fully intended to blog a few days ago, but unfortunately, I woke up New Years day feeling a little less than festive.  I spent nearly the entire day in bed with chills and body aches, but oddly no fever.  Saturday was not much better, although by mid-day I was able to venture forth to spend some time with a friend and run a few errands.

Thankfully, today I’m almost back to normal (well, for me anyways), which is great considering I have to return to work tomorrow.  It will be strange to be back in the office after a week and a half away!  I know it must have been a good vacation, because I’m actually looking forward to returning, and feel fully rested.  Yes Virginia, there is a Santa Clause!

I’ll spare you the overly-gratuitous description of our vacation to Arizona.  Fabulous though it was, I don’t want to be the type who invites people over to visit, only to hold them hostage in the basement with a slide projector and 17 trays of photo-slides, the majority of which include my thumb over half the lens.  Not that I take pictures like that, of course…  I will however, give you the highlights:

First and foremost, it was fan-freaking-tastic.  Although there was no warm weather where we were (Northern Arizona experiences conditions almost identical to where we are in Idaho), we greatly enjoyed spending Christmas with hubby’s family.  I’m very blessed to have never been subjected to the dreaded “evil in-laws” experience, and this time was no different.  Christmas was a blast, we received some great gifts (BOOKS, BOOKS, I GOT BOOKS!!!) and a few days later we were off to the cabin outside of Flagstaff.  I must say, being able to spend some quiet time at their cabin was close to nirvana for me.  Our first night there, the satellite tv was (blessedly) not working, so we set up the laptop with some music, grabbed some blankets and snuggled up on one of the loveseats in front of the fireplace.  The awesome, awesome, fireplace.

There were a few flies in the ointment of our joy (now there’s a sentence I swear has never been written before).  Hubby’s cluster headaches (which only strike every three to four years but last five to six weeks) hit with a vengeance shortly before we left town, so we spent a fair amount of time negotiating with pharmacies to get the required miracle drug that kept him (mostly) upright and happy for the duration of the trip.  The driveway from the main road to the cabin proved to be a bit of a challenge for our (sadly-lacking-in-4-wheel-drive) truck, so we hubby mastered the art of of the shovel, digging us out to freedom three different times.  And, as I alluded to in an earlier post, on the drive home I was accosted in a ladies restroom by a renegade toliet.  It was one of those tricky self-flusher’s that operates on an (obviously faulty) sensor system, which triggered about ten seconds too early.  That was bad enough, but then I “sensed” a bit more “splash-back” *ahem* than is typical in those instances, and started wondering if Ely, Nevada was the kind of high-falutin place to embrace the bidet experience.  Nah, turns out there was just a leak in the pipe coming down the wall.  Towel, anyone?  My poor leather jacket is still recovering.  It may need therapy.

So there, that’s the post on our Christmas vacation.  Hopefully not too traumatizing of a read for you.  I was a no-good, lazy, picture taker, so I have no concrete evidence that any of this happened, but really, who could make all that up? (Is it wrong that part of me would take it as a compliment if you said you believed I could make that up?)

Home again, home again, lickety-split

Hubby and I arrived home from our Christmas vacation a few hours ago and and I am full to the brim with stories of exploding toliets, suicidal rabbits, and a step-by-step guide on how to dig your truck out of the snow. (Three, count ‘em THREE TIMES people!!).  Before I can expound on all these exciting topics, however, I need to attend a New Year’s Eve party with some good friends and ring in the new year with way too much good food and wine. 

I’ll be back tomorrow with more details on our trip.  In the meantime, I hope you all had a fabulous Christmas with your families and hopefully have something fun planned for this evening.  Personally, my biggest goal is to get my dog to stop licking my toes long enough that I can paint them.  Wish me luck!

Happy New Year!!!

The Secret to Survival

An accurate reflection of my current mood

The following exhibit is an example of how I survive long, yawn inducing afternoons at work:

Chocolate Chip Cookies from the cafeteria at work
(better than you might think)

My newest source of caffeine.
(This is a judgement free zone people, so take your anti-sugar, anti-caffeine, anti-anything-good attitude and shove it up y-
Whoa, wait – maybe I’ve had too much caffeine? I’m seem to be exhibiting increased levels of agression)

Perhaps I should have gone the Prozac and 2-martini-lunch route.

Nah, then I would’ve ended up like this fellow:

Although I’m told my regular laughter can be unsettling, even before the alcohol!!

T-Minus 58 hours and counting…

Courtesy of the Secretary of the Department of Transportation’s blog (who knew!?):

December 22, 2009

FAA Administrator Babbitt clears Santa for annual mission

I am pleased to report that, just moments ago, FAA chief Randy Babbitt cleared Santa Claus for his traditional round-the-world holiday mission.

Said Babbitt: “Santa and his crew have always shown extraordinary professionalism, I’m certain they’ll pull off this year’s flight without a hitch.”

The public is invited to follow Santa’s progress on Christmas Eve at www.noradsanta.org via NORAD’s famous SantaCams.

During the North Pole International Airport (NPIA) 90-minute check flight, Santa demonstrated precision execution of the pinpoint rooftop landing and takeoff maneuvers his extensive delivery manifest and single-night constraint require.

Babbitt also pronounced the sleigh’s onboard equipment to be in tip-top operating condition, including the following systems:

• Deicing
• Reindeer propulsion
• Navigation
• Grinch/Heat-Miser avoidance system

Critically, Babbitt also verified Santa’s crew manifest to ensure enough elves would be available to relieve Santa for proper pilot rest periods.

New this year, Santa and the North Pole elves have instituted several energy-saving measures.

Santa’s wondrous sense of orientation will be supplemented by Next Generation Air Transportation System (NextGen) technology to make this year’s trip more fuel-efficient.

And Rudolph’s bright red nose and other onboard sleigh lighting systems have been converted to energy-saving LEDs.

Thank you, Randy, for attending to this critical responsibility.

And thank you, Santa, for your faithful service (please check that list twice; I’ve been pretty nice this year)!